Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Of Things Unnoticed

Last Saturday, even though I was out late, I woke up early to jog with the troupe. They are my friends from the neighborhood, and it feels nice to have people in the community to hangout with.

I was the one who initiated the jogging (even though we all slept late because we were together that Friday night). Upon reaching The District - Imus from Villa Bienes, it rained. We had coffee for awhile before going back to the village. Rain drops were still falling on our way, so I took the time to not be in a rush and observe. I really have this thing for little things and I couldn't let the chance slip to take a look around me.

Every day, we are too busy minding the huge things that happen in our lives. We tend to neglect the little things that give color to our world. Our eyes always stare straight ahead, not realizing that we're unconsciously taking a lot of things for granted. Like that flower I took a picture of - if you won't look down, you won't notice it. It may not be as stunning as a rose, but it has beauty. The tiny drops of water, just among the other things that go unnoticed most of the time, added to the beauty of this tiny masterpiece.

In our lives, at one point or another, we sometimes feel unnoticed... Unimportant. Unappreciated. People only see the major things we do for them, putting into oblivion the little ones. Our efforts aren't credited, and what's worse is that we're treated as if we did nothing. We want to please them because they matter, because we love them, but then we're never enough.

We fight an everyday struggle to please the people we love not because we want recognition, but because we want them to know that we're here. It's a constant battle that's actually hard to win because we can't take a hold of what they see in us. Sometimes the best we give isn't good enough.

But here's what we should keep in mind: We are more than the efforts that have never been recognized. More than the best shot that has never been acknowledged. We are more than the sum of our mistakes. Of all the things we've ever done that remain unnoticed, we're all more than that.

Here's a song I know we could all somehow relate to:

We may not be perfect, but we're always more than enough. Remember that. Always.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Kid Inside

Every time I get to see old photographs at home, I can't help but smile. The ecstasy of recalling the feelings behind those shots is just priceless. It's like I want to go back in time and watch myself as I make that loud carefree laughter. No, not that I want to turn back the time, change things and be a different person - man, even in the least reason, I won't. What I was and had been through yesterday have so much to do with who I already am now, and I don't regret a thing. I had been in the light and in the dark, and to sum everything up, my life has been a great one so far. It's just that there are some so much moments that I want to replay to feel the euphoria all over again.

My first smile? The first word I've ever said? My first few steps? The first time I ever called my parents 'Mom' and 'Dad'? (Damn, eyes, tears... No.) My parents must've smiled widely because of too much excitement. They must've asked me to do those things again. I wish I could see the happiness in their eyes during those firsts.

When I entered toddler? Joined kiddie pageants? Sang and danced on stage while looking at Mom and Dad? Had my first graduation speech during preschool? Those moments must've made my parents cutely proud. They must've clapped with the highest elation and must've made every click of the camera count because hey, films are limited back then.

And the list goes on. And on. And on.

I wish I could go back to those moments and see how wonderful (or maybe awful, haha) it was to watch me grow. I wish I could simply just see the whole scene whenever I look at those photos that just make me smile at random times now. I wish I could see my life before my very eyes.

Isn't it nice to remember? We were all kids once. We were all once free from anxieties and responsibilities of the real world. We were all once just jumping and running and laughing and playing. We were all once those little ones.

I wish I could see how I enjoyed playing in the rain. I wish I could remember how the rain only reminded me of fun outside baths with my playmates instead of random nostalgia while I'm lying on my bed. I wish I could embrace the flood once more and not mind how dirty it was, instead of remembering how many lives had been taken away because of calamities.

I wish I could see how fast (or slow) I ran when I chased my playmates, or how high I jumped. I wish I could hear how loud I cried or how hard I laughed. I wish I could see the light on my face when I was offered a chocolate bar after having tantrums. I wish I could see how amazing it was to grow up.

Life is nothing but a constant reminder that everything around us keeps on changing. Yes, we are and will always be more than the number of years we would ever live, but those numbers just prove that we're moving from one pace to another every single day. One day we'll wake up realizing that we have outgrown a lot of our clothes and that our toys no longer suit us anymore. We're no longer for the balls, but for the world.

Still, we will keep on running and jumping and chasing, but no longer because we're playing - it's because we have to. We have to because we're living the reality. We have to because we are already, er, what is it called? Grown-ups. Gone are the days when balloons are just things that we want to play with; because now, a balloon could be a symbol of what we all want to and have to let go of.

But no matter how old we are, there will always be that kid inside us. The kid inside will never die. Every day we are fighting a battle if we should act right or just act, but still, we're all nothing but an infant trapped inside this grown-up body, trying to have a tight grip of whatever we could hold on to.

I wish I could just play it all again, but life is and will never be as easy as that, so we all have to live in the moment and make every second count. I think I've already said this before, but let me just say it again: today is the youngest we'll ever be, and the oldest we've ever been, better yet make it legendary.

I would like to share this song by Miranda Lambert as I end this post. #feels

If I could just come in, I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

All Photos from Google

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

To The Stories Never Told

Last night, I opened my laptop and planned to make a blog post. I knew I was going nowhere so I just saved the draft after the third sentence of the second paragraph.

Too much of those... I always tell myself to regret nothing but I have hundreds of unexposed thoughts. Upon deciding to not push through with the blog post I was supposed to write, I started re-reading the entries I never posted in this blog, and with that, I've had an epiphany: all the things that we never expressed were those we've always wanted to shout out loud. They were the drafts we wish we had the courage to post in public. They were the letters we wish we had the courage to at least give to the recipient. They were the text messages we wish we had the courage to read whatever reply we could have received. They were the words we wish we had the courage to utter. They were the feelings we wish we had the courage to accept even when unrequited.

Life has a funny way of suddenly making us realize things when we're already lying on our beds at night and about to sleep; that moment when we get a glimpse of the night sky and just whisper, "Life... Life." It's amazing, too, how one second could make a transition in the way we perceive reality. Fast and sudden, yes, but that's how it really is, right? Time's too fast and moments are too sudden. We try to capture memories but after some time they will all be nothing but unmoving images; captured are the smiles and the laughter, but never the stories behind it.

Because there will always be those untold stories, or maybe stories that had started but weren't given endings. There will always be unfinished sentences or omitted phrases. There will always be something in our lives that, as much as we would have wanted to tell the world, circumstances provide that we can never do it - not because we weren't allowed to, but because it's the best thing we could ever do.

Each one of us has a story to tell, but not all stories are meant to be written in papers or carved in stones. Some stories are just as good as the vapor in the air. That doesn't mean that those stories aren't significant - they are, because all stories are connected and everything happens because of what had previously happened.

Our stories, no matter how big or small, long or short, amazing or devastating, are all linked to make sense like the Big Bang Theory. It doesn't matter if you're the lady with the perfectly applied red lipstick or the damsel with make-up smeared eyes. It doesn't matter if you're the man with a nice suit or the guy with full-body tattoo. We're all part of an untold story, and we all have stories that we will never tell.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Young and Reckless

I am just starting my life. I may have lived for more than two decades now, but I know that I am just starting the real life. I've had too much, but I know I still have so much more to learn; which brings me to write this post about my favorite track from Taylor Swift's latest album, 1989.

Track No. 2. BLANK SPACE. 
Man, I could listen to this song all day. No kidding.
This song is something that I really can relate with at the moment. People (IYKWIM) come and go, and it's something that's inevitable. I used to ask what the hell was wrong with me (oh yes, past tense) before because I seemed to always be the one who's left behind, and well, yeah, I thought right. There was something wrong with me. I cared too much. I've always been the one who cared more. I was so stupid because I had begged for those people to stay when they were already leaving. Hah! Pathetic, you say. Pathetic, I agree. And it's just funny 'cause I am already laughing about it now. Isn't it amazing when you've come to realize that you're now fine? You still kind of care because those things happened, but you now just care because, well, they happened. Past tense.

I have never been too public with that aspect of my life. Even though I'm so loud at social media, I rarely post photos of me and *insert whoever's name* and everything that's within the 'Hey, meet my beau' parameter because I've always been private about that. For the record, I have never changed my relationship status for real. It has always been a complicated status, widow or in a relationship for a PRANK, or just BLANK.

I've been a target of third parties, trust issues and false hopes since my hypothalamus (correct me if I'm wrong; dude, I'm not a Biology major) learned how to fall in love. I guess that's really how the cycle goes. You fall, you crash, you heal, and then you fall again, and it just goes round and round.

I wouldn't deny that I am weird and crazy. I love having ice creams at 2AM. Geez, my favorite time of day is 2AM. I write poems out of the blue, make calligraphy art, take photos of mundane things (plus selfies), dance like nobody's watching even though almost everyone actually is, sing at the top of my lungs, start to write songs but never actually finish them... One word: RANDOM. I could be at my best and worst at the same time, but swear, I know I'm somehow doing a good job in handling myself because I know who I am. I talk too much when I'm happy, and shut the hell up when I'm mad until [maybe] I could no longer take it all because of too much fury. At most and at least, I know that I am nothing ordinary.

At the moment, I'm enjoying the gains of what I have lost. There's this struggle of multiple souls inside me but I'm coping with it because even though most souls are confused and are still trying to figure out what they are up to, all those souls are happy. All those souls are flying in the open right now. They're not looking for something to hold on to, but they're waiting for the bliss.

When I'm finally ready to burn the walls I've built around me and put my guards down, I know I have more than enough to offer. I love how I have been taking my time, and I can give a good punch to knock the bad vibes out. I'm all for good. I may be young and reckless, but I'd be more than willing to write whoever's name in my blank space if circumstances prove that whoever that person is is worth it.

And no matter how painful the past had been, no matter how nasty the scars are, WE should always leave a blank space for that someone who's willing to turn it all around. We could show incredible things, be the king or the queen. Shit happens, but hey, remember this one, too: SHIT PASSES. ;)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

20 Facts About Me

My friend Nikki tagged me this chain post on Facebook but since my feeds are already flooded with chain posts like this, I just decided to put it on my blog. Besides, I think no one would actually care to read it so I'd just dump it here. Haha.

Without further ado, here's my list:

  1. I am a really, really talkative person and I can be annoying sometimes. I am aware of that.
  2. Reading and writing are my life.
  3. I don’t like going to clubs because I can’t stand the environment of cigarette smoking, drunk people vomiting, people making out in public and anything in between. Eew. Just eew.
  4. I am not fond of putting make-ups. I am not that comfortable and I feel really conscious whenever I wear ‘em.
  5. Sometimes I think I’m being so impassive. I’m really outspoken with regard to my opinion and ideas but I’m really afraid to show my feelings. The fear always holds me back, maybe because I’m afraid of rejection and total isolation.
  6. I admit that I have a bit of trust issues but I still get attached to people easily. People who are really close to me know why.
  7. I’m a POTTERHEAD.  After all this time? Always. Can’t find the perfect words to explain this. And number 7 for this "fact" because Harry Potter has seven books. ;)
  8. My ultimate celebrity girl crush is Emma Watson. Need I say more?
  9. It’s not that obvious but I have scoliosis. We found it out when I was in Grade 6. It sucks whenever back pains attack me because the feeling is really torturous.
  10. I have small feet (size 4) and small hands.
  11. My playlist has a majority of Taylor Swift and Paramore tracks, but I do listen to various genres of music. I am a great fan of classic instrumentals and jazz, too!
  12. I love watching and playing basketball. I don’t stand out in this sport but I really love dribbling and shooting and that entire ball-catching and court trash-talking thing. Haha.
  13. I have no “airplane experience” yet, hopefully sooner.
  14. I am a very appreciative person. I am not hard to please. I’m just not sure if I’m being able to show it.
  15. I have always loved dancing. I attend zumba classes because I really can’t give dancing up. The health and fitness benefits are just my secondary reasons.
  16. My favorite number is 16, simply because I was born on the 16th of the month.
  17. I am a crybaby. Until now. My tears fall easily. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm mad. Blame my eyes.
  18. I have a thing for proposals and weddings. Sometimes I really want to be a proposal/wedding planner/coordinator but I think being one is actually more serious than how I think it is.
  19. I still believe that marriage [and sex] are sacred.
  20. My favorite color is blue. Give me anything blue and I might say “I love you” right away. Haha! I love violet, pink and orange sometimes though.
  21. I am infinite and I don’t let the rules define me. To define is to limit, you know. I don’t think I am limited. ;)

There you go! And yes, I provided 21 instead of 20. ;) I won’t be tagging people because I don’t think anyone would actually take time to read this. Would just share it anyway. Haha!

Friday, September 12, 2014

The Walk

Heyaaaa! I haven’t updated this blog for some time but I’ve been quite active in Random-MissC and Of Clueless Letters. For some reasons, I haven’t thought of anything that’s blog-worthy.

Recent events have happened though, and I guess they’re good enough to share (but pardon me if I would just be too brief in telling the stories).

Last August 30, 2014, I joined the Kapisanan ng mga Brodkaster ng Pilipinas Oplan Broadcasteering: Save Our Planet 2014. It was a long drive all the way to Antipolo but the breath-taking views eased my tiredness right away. It was my first time to join such event and I was glad to be among those volunteers who did a little something for Mother Earth. I am really looking forward to more missions like that. I have always wanted to be engaged with social activities; so far I have already been a volunteer for outreach programs and blood-letting events. However, I didn’t donate blood before because I used to be underweight so I just assisted in the registration and food distribution; hopefully I’d be able to donate blood soon.

I also had the chance to meet the Greatest International Bowler of All Time, Mr. Paeng Nepomuceno. He was our special guest during the opening of the 2014 ECJ Invitational Ten-pin Bowling Tournament at the AMF Superbowl, Makati Square. I was tasked to host the program so I really had the chance to be with him side by side and face to face!

And just this Wednesday, I was able to taste a popular beverage in the world of witchcraft and wizardry. If you’re a Harry Potter fan, you know definitely what I’m talking about. Yes, yes and yes! Butterbeer! A new friend invited me to check it out at Early Bird Breakfast Club in Bonifacio Global City.

Blimey! The excitement of drinking it rose to its extreme the moment our glasses were already served. The taste? Geez, I thank the heavens for such creation! ;)

I also had Bacon and Egg Nest and man, I must say that my visit there was worth it. The nest was filled with bacon, egg, cheese and veggies that really gave complementing flavors.

The ambiance at Early Bird was also fine and cozy. I would give 4 out of 5 stars for the service they’ve given us. It was really a #selfie-worthy place. ;)

We also visited Fully-Booked (BGC) and I just fell in love with the whole place for having lots of books. Applause for the amazing book and wall arts!

And lately I’ve been so LSSed with Mayer Hawthorne’s The Walk. I even stopped when I heard it while strolling around the mall.

So long you did me wrong. Kbye.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Glad It Was Over

This isn’t a rant, because if it’s a rant I know you wouldn’t take time to read it. Here’s something for us to reflect on:

As the cliché goes, some people just come and go. Some are meant to be in our lives to give us memories, then leave to teach us lessons afterwards. Either way, they’ve been a part of our happiness and pain, love and hurt, sunny days and rainy nights. These are things that are indeed inevitable, and it’s something we really can’t control.

It has never been easy to have our walls down and let someone in, with all the uncertainty if things will be worth it later on. It’s a big risk because it’s our hearts at stake, and it’s our emotions on bet. Questions will start to pop out: Do we look good together? Are things going to work out? Will this last? Yet, we push through with it. Why? Because we feel happy, we feel belonged, and most of all, we feel loved. Then we start to make memories with these people. We try several “first time’s” with them and tell them our past as if we’re sure enough that we’re going to be with them in the future. We just feel comfortable and thrilled and overjoyed. Elated. Ecstatic. Euphoric.

But you see, some good things really don’t just last. Words are spoken and hearts are broken, and the once oh-so-perfect scene becomes a tragedy we would not want to remember. We hear those love songs that make us cry, and we torture ourselves because we got hurt by an excruciating “goodbye”. We begin to build the walls around us again and guard our hearts so that the next time somebody knocks on our door, we would be extra careful before opening the chances again.

Unfortunately, we never really learn. Walls are burned and hearts are unlocked once more, realizing that we have trusted the wrong person (maybe for the nth time in history) in the end. And yes, the cycle just goes on…

Then we come to a point wherein we’re already fed up. Upon realizing our worth, we begin to love ourselves more; we gain a deeper appreciation of our being and lose grip of those who never got to hold us tight. We let go and move on – the real kind, okay? We make those genuine smiles again, and finally feel that we really don’t give a damn to those a**holes who just used us and took us for granted before. We take pictures of ourselves, compare them to the old photos, and see how everything about us has changed for the better – and we are now ready to explore a new world because we now know ourselves more – we now adore every imperfection that defines that beauty in us.

That’s the time we get what the good in goodbye really means.

I will end this post with a song that really suits the source of what I’m pointing out now. Yeah, let’s just be glad that it’s really over. ;)

Monday, June 2, 2014

Sweet Disposition

Last Saturday, the Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen & Professionals (or BCBP, where my parents are memebers) Imus Chapter had a Family Day at Grand Parkplace Clubhouse (Imus, Cavite). The BCBP families gather at least once a year to bond with the other members. Usually, we do this on summer like what we had in Punta Fuego two years ago (blog post here).

I wasn't in the mood for swimming that time so I didn't bring my swimmies with me. Instead, I just played table tennis and basketball and of course, had a shoot of my #ootd. :)

We all want to feel comfy under the heat of the sun. One answer? Spaghetti straps! I wanted to wear something light so I chose my pink layered top and DIY ombre shorts with minimal accessories.

It's indeed another laid-back dress-up day so I just used my slightly elevated flip-flops. I am fond of using elevated footwears because of my height. Haha!

Sunnies are among the must-haves now because of the heat of the sun. We all need to protect our eyes. I always see to it that I have my sunnies with me everyday because sun rays really do torture our sense of sight and it's our duty to protect it.

BTW, my slippers have been with me for almost three years now. It was really worth the price because aside from the fact that you can use it for styling purposes, it's really durable. :)

Layered Top, Bracelet| Thrift Shop
Shorts| Thrift Shop, ombre-ed by my friend Gem Arais
Slippers| Havaianas [High]

By the way, I colored my hair with ash blonde on black base (courtesy of Hortaleza Hair Color). What do you think? :)

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.

And hey, it's already June! Time flies so fast! ;)

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Going Denim

Denims never really run out of style. Ever since the word fashion has entered the world, denims never went out of the blue. From vests to pants, denims can really be styled in a lot of ways. What's so good about denims is that it's already an on-the-go outfit that could be matched with anything - from laid-back dressing to statement attires.

My officemates and I decided to take a mini photo shoot during lunch time. Since I'm in an all-denim-attire today, I decided to share my #ootd because I really feel active and driven with what I'm wearing. :)

Since it's so hot outside and I am a commuter today (most of the time my Dad drops me at my office before he goes to work), I  wore a sleeveless and a denim-looking type of blazer so I would be at ease even though I'd be racing with other commuters on the road. ;)

The sleeveless has very thin black and white stripe details. The blazer is not really a denim, but its color and texture does match like those of denim jackets, only with a lighter fabric, which is just perfect for the hot temperature outside and coldness in the office.

I tied my hair up portraying a smart sporty look (and because it's oh so hot). I also used a thick ragged belt to accentuate my skinny jeans.

And since my ever favorite shoes could give a blow for this look, I used my Keds wedges again. :) The price I paid for this pair is really worth it. ;)

 Thanks to my officemates Adrian and Cay for taking turns in these shots.

Sleeveless| Surplus Shop
Blazer| Thrift Shop
Belt| Bench
Pants| Crissa
Wedges| Keds
Wristwatch| Guess

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Sk8r Girl

Aside from our whereabouts, our mood is definitely one of the factors that define the outfit that we're going to wear for the day. Sometimes we feel edgy or classic, but there are moments when we feel like looking feminine (or masculine) and polished too.

I have to stick with the smart casual attire that we're required to wear in the office, but I really felt like having a preppy look yesterday (as inspired by Taylor Swift here). Pullovers and skater skirts are among the easiest clothes to pair up. It's effortless to mix and match pullovers and skater skirts because they could really go a long way. You could wear them on a party with your high heels on but you could also wear them for a walk on the mall using your flats. Definitely a must-have.

Sorry for the low-quality photos.
Just used my phone's cam, used the same to edit 'em. ;)

Since it's a stripe black-and-brown match, I decided to use my black skater skirt. Black is really a color that could give an edgy aura to any outfit.

My Keds wedges are indeed my favorite shoes now. It's really a chic item and it could go from vintage to sporty to edgy to girly. Who wouldn't want to have a pair of shoes that could really make a statement? :)

I also tied my hair down so it would match the girly-ness of my #ootd. I'm really fond of having my hair this way too. :)

I didn't put accessories anymore because I don't want to look overdressed in the office. Besides, it looks classically vintage this way. Less is more, isn't it?

Pullover| MySassyDoll
Skater Skirt| Thrift Shop
Wedges| Keds

Thanks to my officemate Bryan for taking my photos. :)

I really love mixing and matching clothes. It feels good that one outfit could bring an entirely different look when paired with another item. :) In the end, it still depends on your confidence and on how you carry yourself. ;)
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